thoughts from April

So I knew that I wanted to post some but Robert has done most of the posting, I will try to keep it brief although I have a head full of things to say. First of all I want to thank every single person who has been praying for us. I KNOW you are praying because I can just feel God's presence. I'll tell you being here has really brought me back to my savior. It's like in the states we were so comfortable because we were doing ministry and we had school or a job at the time with no bills but still felt God's presence, like we were doing okay. But here, man it has brought me back to my knees. It's like I've had to depend on God in a whole new way. I have also had to refocus my brain to our purpose here. First when we had the desire to come we thought, "Oh this will be so awesome to be trained at Hillsong for God to prepare us for ministry to travel and lead worship for students all over, blah blah blah" and I really felt it at the time, with no doubt or fear that this dream would ever not come true. And then time carries on and you think, jeez should I get a "real" job, maybe I need a back up plan, when I knew from the very beginning that God shared with me clearer than ever that, "I didn't need a back up plan, because that just meant that I didn't fully trust in God's dream for me, that I hadn't really received this revelation of what GOd had for me. And now, two years from the first excitement about this I have to hold onto that promise that God gave me of not needing a back up plan.

Sigh, with all that said (and I'm sorry if you're getting bored of reading). There was a message at church sunday night that truly spoke to me of this thought. the pastor was talking about warning signs in the Bible and how we should learn from them. The best example given(for me) was of Benjamin's disobedience to God in Judges 1:21 "The Benjamites, however, failed to dislodge the Jebusites, who were living in Jerusalem; to this day the Jebusites live there with the Benjamites". This passage itself might not make sense. But the pastor spoke of how before this time God had given the Benjamites power over the jebusites, they just had to take it. BUt they failed to take it and so they were living with these people forever as a reminder of what they were too scared to take.
So then, the pastor asked us what Jebusites we had in our life, what was something that was holding us back from our destiny? Well, for me I knew right away what it was. It was that fear, that our dreams for God wouldn't come true. That because of fear we would fail to make the dream that GOd has given us a reality. That for whatever reason I would sink into a regular job for security. I know that that is NOT what God has for me. He has brought us here to prepare for a great ministry that he has in store for us. The pastor said that the God of the universe lives in us (which I knew, but it really made sense when He said it) and that our Jebusites must leave because of GOd's power. I just had to believe it and claim it in Jesus name. I had to remember that the same power that conquered the grave lives in me! THat is CRAZY power, but I have to allow God to use it in me.
I guess I want to remind us all that if God has called us to something, that we must allow God to make it happen in us. Our destiny for him, is ours if we believe it and allow GOd to guide us. Don't live with your jebusites forever in regret. We must get rid of them.
That's what I learned...I thought maybe i should share. Also if you could just keep us in prayer for finances and a job for Robert. to keep it short, I can't work full time because of the Visa. So robert wil have to get a job, or maybe another job for me under the table, BUt i know God will take care of us. Just pray. THanks so much for reading this far! I love everyone and miss you all so much. May you receive GOd's abundant blessing today. xoxo